I readily admit that I am one person who does not do well with no plan. I like to know when, where, with who, how we'll get there, for how long and everything in between. I have anxiety when plans get changed a lot, or at the last minute. Which brings me to the subject of my future. There is no planning it, and while there can be hopes and pushes into the direction you want it to go, there is no definite. That TERRIFIES me, I want to know where we are moving, if we are moving, if I will have a job, or be able to get a job, if it will be a warm place, if I can finish school working full time and having Owen full time...
But what I am trying to focus on as much as possible is the here and now. I focus on the fact I live with the greatest guy on the planet, and have a cute and smart little boy. I try to think about the fact we are blessed with a roof over our heads and know we can afford our next meal, that we have a wonderful family and great friends. I am trying to worry less about tomorrow and enjoy today more.
It is funny that when I was speaking with my Mother about a possible job opportunity, she told me I was getting ahead of myself and need to take it one step at a time. Her and my Dad taught me to look at the Big Picture, little did they know that philosophy would stick... A little too well! I worry about every single aspect of what could go wrong and in the process, I lose sight of what is going well now and what could keep going well in the future.
I don't know where we will be in a year or two. But I know I will be with the man I love and the little boy I love. I don't know about anything else. But that is ok. Everything ALWAYS works out, and I will be ok!
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